Kaleidoscope I’s

LifeWork!

I lived most of my adult years in the Southeast, the Southwest, the Mid-Atlantic states, and Canada. My jobs revolved around administrative tasks: receptionist/executive secretary and administrative assistant. At one time, I worked as a lecturer in education and business circles, in adult education, and in a non-profit social service organization. None of these fulfilled me enough. I never thought of any of them as a “career.” They comprised my work life. But not my LifeWork! They were (and still are) jobs. And I sometimes felt like Job (from the Bible)—slaving away, awaiting redemptive changes.

During many of my work years, I often got up early and settled into my true LifeWork by penning thoughts, small stories, poems, and impressions that came to me. Later, I received messages from Spirit that taught me some aspects of what life is like in the spiritual realms. I was (and still am) extremely quiet about this side of me. A few friends, and eventually, my mom and sister, understood something more about who I am through my relating this still quite silent part of my nature.

Realignment

I have seen pictures of my godparents holding me at my baptism. I guess my parents believed that I needed to be baptized to protect my soul. But that’s where they stopped. They did not bring me to church and Sunday school as a child. Regardless, I developed an awe of and began getting to know my limited understanding of God through illustrated story Bibles (for kids) in doctor’s offices (this was the 1950s!). A pastor convinced my mom and dad that I should be confirmed. I went through classes and became part of the church. It made me feel sort of chosen, but not really. Still, I had a badge to wear—that of a confirmand. During confirmation classes, I started reading the grown-up Bible—no illustrations, no Cliff notes. It was rather overwhelming. I confess I don’t remember having read it all. I skipped around at points and never got the entire picture of religious teachings. I consciously chose to stay away from the chapter on Revelations, which is interesting, as I have had more than a few “revelations” through channeling.

At university, I attended chapel and went to a couple of crusade camp getaways. None of these touched my soul enough to continue that route. I began a relationship with Jesus, but it was not as strong a bond as I hoped. The onus was on my side. I dabbled in some religious teachings and embraced others—sometimes for many years. But “religion,” for religion’s sake, did not find an everlasting home within me.

Yet I wondered why I continued to “put God on a shelf” (my words) during other times of my life. Was I afraid? And if so, just what was I afraid of? I marveled at others who had strong relationships with God, Jesus, God, Buddha, Mother Mary, and Muhammed, perhaps Quan Yin, and marveled at those who enjoyed reading the Torah, the Bible, The Pearl of Great Price, the Watchtower magazine, or those going to self-realization fellowship, mass, weekly religious services or who have daily prayers in a mosque or temple. To be honest, none of these were wholly me.

From Apostle to Apostate. - ?????SDFLSDJFLSDKF here???