Self-Mastery
Received July 4-7, 1998
A Letter from My Creator and My Higher/Divine Self
Lo. Look there. No, not outside. Look inside. Do you not see her? See that beautiful creation I can see? Can not you detect that she needs a life rope? I, we, bid you to throw one to her! It is not a climb up; it is a climb out that is before her.
As you forge through forests of doubt and ashes of anguish, we see you stop by the roadside and sometimes weep. Who weeps with you? Who weeps through you? You and I have beating hearts as one—as ONE!!! But we need beating hearts that have WON!—won over the separation between us. Won over the pettiness of worldly “stuff.” Won over the possibility of going back under the cover of masked feelings, of masked life.
Your reflection right now is not pleasing to you. This I know. This I see all too well; how you treat yourself is painful to you and to me. The reflection you see is filled with angst and regret and brambles of longing.
My child, My Self—one is not the victim in life’s unfoldment unless one accepts that identity. You are meant instead to be the Challenger. Victims within self-abusive situations have a hard time seeing the light. But as you work to picture yourself in Light, so are you there! As you train within to accept the rightful title of Challenger and not the victim-to-be-punished, so will you be.
Look beyond and through this life with your eternal eyes. Go ahead. Refocus. You can do it. Look beyond this life’s body and into the eternal temple of your heart. The flame that is whole and pure and good burns there—still. It is the eternal flame, the eternal bonfire of the Real You. It respects not vanities of any kind—neither inferiority nor superiority. It searches to light the way to your True Self and eventually illumine the lives of others. You have seen the journey within as something hard to do, as something to dread. Now, take my hand. I will hold the lamp. Let us look into the crevices of Your Life. Is it different from My life? No. NO!!! It is the same. Look at it that way, and it is the same. And together this journey will be much easier to make.
…Ah…see the little girl, confused and unhappy because of her mother’s illness. Catching the blame, you held onto it like a trophy, a triumph. You accepted it, made it yours. You need not have. It was not really yours to clutch and cling to. It was HERS, but you did not know that. I realize your dilemma. I realize. And yet now, if I tell you this, does it not make it easier to let go?
…And with all the word-arrows people slung your way through many passageways of your life’s journey, you surely need not have made your life the dart game you did. To have picked up all those arrows from the ground, keeping them like new, polishing them, examining them so many times. But it was when you used them over and over, targeting your heart again and again, that your pain became all the more intense. How unnecessary it is to do this! Do you now see the multitude of pinholes that have ripped the fiber of your heart?
…There—see yourself as a young woman, fresh and alive; you were taken in by words of love that withdrew you from me; how I longed to bring you back. Were you surprised how it happened? What convolutions of self-doubt did it take for you to know the qualities of real love?
…There, growing as a woman, you accepted more guilt in your hands than is ever needed for a soul to do because you believed it was the Master Rule of eliciting grace. No, another mastery took predominance in your life, and we grew apart. And at the same time, you allowed the Captain of Fear to crack the whip in your mind. The strain was so very great. Is it any wonder that you faltered there and found it hard to continue? Yet, was it that hard to leave the prison? Led by tender hand, you finally walked free.
…And here we stand today. You know me better; we have become closer. Yet you still stand dwarfed—in your mind—to most of those in your life. “Why?”—I ask. You whisper, “Worthiness?” That is neither the question nor the answer. Remember, think like the Challenger, not the victim: be the winner.
It is a challenging thing to give up the title of victim. You—in countless ways every day—willingly place yourself in the stockades. Why? That was a different time. It is not now. Live respecting the past, but do not dwell in it—either ancient or recent pasts and paths.
Each human’s life is a walled secret garden, quite like the one written about in the book by that name. From my vantage point, I can see the areas that need the most work. Self-mastery, self-empowerment, self-management—whatever words you choose, all point to one thing: weeding one’s garden. Please keep in mind that artificial weed killers may choke and kill and deaden the weeds, but could they not also kill the flowers there?
To make one’s garden grow and come alive again, either one must climb the wall or find the key. I urge you to find the key and enter naturally. Do not be dismayed at how much work there is to do. Examine your garden. Is there upturned soil ready for new seedlings? Is the vast majority a rock garden with little vegetation? Is there a water source?
If you allow others to trounce through and pick the flowers within your fields with little regard for how many have already been picked, then your garden/forest will assuredly dwindle. To allow others the power to water your garden or to give them license to cut down your blossoms will not do your gardens well. You and I should be the ones to tend your garden. No others need stake claim. For if you empower another, how can you be sure they will give the right amounts of water or light for your growth? Besides, they have their own garden to work in.
If you allow another to pluck the weeds in your stead, realize they may scatter those very weeds back in your yard, and an overgrowth could once again result. Be the “tend”-er of your own weeds. Do it tenderly—with high regard for each one. Realize that the weeds within your garden are the issues you need to confront. So pluck them out root by root; do not mow them down all at once. If you allow them to co-exist with your blossoms, is there not a likelihood the weed population will overtake your entire garden? Instead, bade others entry to view your gardens, to smell the perfumed honeysuckle, and to marvel at the tallness of your own sequoia growing there. Bid them to come and be with you, but do not necessarily listen to every idea of how they would rearrange your garden; the decision to arrange your garden is a part of your own self-mastery.
Realize how you have been guided: you came here to the desert [written while living in the southwestern United States] not to wither and die but to bloom! Take each drop of water with gratitude and be thankful for the sunshine. Remember, even the prickles of the cactus do not inhibit the inherent cactus blossoms that appear in springtime!
Where are you in your seasons? Live not in perpetual winter…haven’t you awakened today in your cosmic spring?
The elegance of well-groomed gardens: this is life, not in the fast lane but in the lane of love. Bloom now; weed now your garden. The art of self-reflection and coming to like—love—your very own life is what wearing the Crown [of Mastery] is all about. Where is your happy kingdom?—in yourself. Within! Undertake the challenge; in that way, you will take command!
Your divine guide of goodness and Light—your Light of God within!
Note from Nannci:
May I suggest that if your Impassioned Pen has a need to Intuit You,
listen for the voice of Your Creator, Your Higher and Divine Self
and write out the letter to you—so desiring of expression, to remind you of where you are
and to chart the life you are born to live
by discovering the elements of your very personal and unique Self-Mastery.